Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
5 essential elements for marriage
1. Severance (leaving) you have to leave your father and mother physically and emotionally. Your primary allegiance is to each other. You have to become your own family.
2. Permanence- being joined together forever. Permanence.
3. Unity- not uniformity, but unity. Recognizing each unique personality, and each choosing to give their life away for the other person.
4. Intimacy – There shouldn’t be shame or embarrassment, each should be focused on the pleasure or delight of the other person. Not physical intimacy only but shared conversations, joys, sorrows, and triumphs. That is what makes physical intimacy so sweet anyhow.
5. Submission/headship
Husband and wife are put in a hierarchy of roles. It’s not about the person, but the role. God set it up, somebody has to lead, and He knew the best person for the job. Why do women try to buck the system? A man doesn’t lose any value or dignity by being submissive to Christ; Christ doesn’t lose any value by being submissive to the Father. As a woman, the same value is being submissive to my husband (or father) and should submit to him with the same fervor as to Christ. The more that we divert from these roles, the less godly our lives become. When you obey God, something supernatural happens. When you give Him your whole life, trusting Him to do it, He can give you something that is otherworldly. The woman's rights movement is nothing more than a tactic of satan to destroy God's created order.
Headship principles:
Husbands are never commanded to rule over their wives but only to love them.
Headship is never portrayed in Scripture as a matter of self-exaltation or self-satisfaction, it is always other oriented.
Headship is not a power of a superior over an inferior Eph. 4:1-3 Gal 5:22-33. Gentleness is strength under control.
Headship is never to be defined as an issuing of cammands.
Headship does not mean that husbands must make every decision in the house.
Headship is more a responsibility than a right. When a husband feels that responsibility and it is honored by the wife, a sacred trust is established. Chivalry has really been lost in our society, but truly that’s the kind of leadership women are looking for. Headship is an opportunity to lead… with Christ as an example. He led them in regards to them; in teaching, setting an example, spending time with them, delegating authority to them.
Headship don’t give the husband a right to be wrong, he has to be sure he is right with God, communicating with Him before his family, being one with Him.
Headship means loving and caring for one’s wife as himself
Headship means loving and caring for one’s wife as Christ the church.
The closer a husband is to the Lord the more he’ll understand this, the better of a husband he’ll be and realize idealistic marriage comes from intimacy with the Lord. The problems/conflicts come from a lack of true drinks from the well. If your intimacy with the Lord is secure, all will fall into place. “Godliness is what makes you a real man” Jeff Sutton. J
Eph. 5:26-27 Purposeful, pro-active love, encouraging the other to grow in the Lord. A husband’s desire is that the wife would be washed and spotless. He wants to see his family sanctified… realizing that it’s not about not upsetting her, it’s about being the spiritual leader for her that she needs; even if it’s challenging things that need it. Not providing spiritual leadership is much more the failure, than lacking in monetary provision.
1. Severance (leaving) you have to leave your father and mother physically and emotionally. Your primary allegiance is to each other. You have to become your own family.
2. Permanence- being joined together forever. Permanence.
3. Unity- not uniformity, but unity. Recognizing each unique personality, and each choosing to give their life away for the other person.
4. Intimacy – There shouldn’t be shame or embarrassment, each should be focused on the pleasure or delight of the other person. Not physical intimacy only but shared conversations, joys, sorrows, and triumphs. That is what makes physical intimacy so sweet anyhow.
5. Submission/headship
Husband and wife are put in a hierarchy of roles. It’s not about the person, but the role. God set it up, somebody has to lead, and He knew the best person for the job. Why do women try to buck the system? A man doesn’t lose any value or dignity by being submissive to Christ; Christ doesn’t lose any value by being submissive to the Father. As a woman, the same value is being submissive to my husband (or father) and should submit to him with the same fervor as to Christ. The more that we divert from these roles, the less godly our lives become. When you obey God, something supernatural happens. When you give Him your whole life, trusting Him to do it, He can give you something that is otherworldly. The woman's rights movement is nothing more than a tactic of satan to destroy God's created order.
Headship principles:
Husbands are never commanded to rule over their wives but only to love them.
Headship is never portrayed in Scripture as a matter of self-exaltation or self-satisfaction, it is always other oriented.
Headship is not a power of a superior over an inferior Eph. 4:1-3 Gal 5:22-33. Gentleness is strength under control.
Headship is never to be defined as an issuing of cammands.
Headship does not mean that husbands must make every decision in the house.
Headship is more a responsibility than a right. When a husband feels that responsibility and it is honored by the wife, a sacred trust is established. Chivalry has really been lost in our society, but truly that’s the kind of leadership women are looking for. Headship is an opportunity to lead… with Christ as an example. He led them in regards to them; in teaching, setting an example, spending time with them, delegating authority to them.
Headship don’t give the husband a right to be wrong, he has to be sure he is right with God, communicating with Him before his family, being one with Him.
Headship means loving and caring for one’s wife as himself
Headship means loving and caring for one’s wife as Christ the church.
The closer a husband is to the Lord the more he’ll understand this, the better of a husband he’ll be and realize idealistic marriage comes from intimacy with the Lord. The problems/conflicts come from a lack of true drinks from the well. If your intimacy with the Lord is secure, all will fall into place. “Godliness is what makes you a real man” Jeff Sutton. J
Eph. 5:26-27 Purposeful, pro-active love, encouraging the other to grow in the Lord. A husband’s desire is that the wife would be washed and spotless. He wants to see his family sanctified… realizing that it’s not about not upsetting her, it’s about being the spiritual leader for her that she needs; even if it’s challenging things that need it. Not providing spiritual leadership is much more the failure, than lacking in monetary provision.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Traditional (dumb) dating, and what’s wrong with it. (7 things)
1. Dating leads to intimacy but not necessarily to commitment
A close association or detailed knowledge of a person without commitment is dangerous! Intimacy outside of marriage is ultimately defrauding to that person’s future spouse. God is outside of time, he sees every marriage in place that will ever happen.
It’s much healthier to develop a deep friendship among friends than in a dating setting. Dating is often superficial and both putting best foot forward. If friendship isn’t the main focus you are in for trouble… it’s a breeding ground for lust, and also when married the good feelings and fuzziness fade…
3. Dating often mistakes a physical relationship for love
The physical in a dating relationship adds so much confusion. You think things are much more serious than they are. A physical relationship does NOT equal love. If anything, error on holiness.
4. Dating often isolates a couple from other vital relationships
Becoming attached to the other person often causes you to lose perspective of you own identity. You cannot let your identity be found in the opposite person. If you’re not to the marriage point focus on being friends, and lay it down. Trust is important in a relationship, but exclusiveness makes you totally wrapped up in each other outside of marriage. It promotes jealousy and mistrust. How do you deal with jealous feelings? Get along with the Lord and express it. If the other is not trustworthy you have to take that into account…. But jealousy is not real love.
5. Dating often distracts you from doing what God wants for you right now
You cannot forsake what God has for you because of the other person. Often you might be called to lay something down for the sake of following Christ’s leading. But it’s got to be Him (more relevant actually in marriage). If you are not sure about God’s leading about something, let go of it. If He establishes it in your life, fabulous, if not He has something better for you. Walk through life with your arms wide open to Him. Eph 5:15-17
6. Dating can cause discontentment with God’s gift of singleness
Dating is very distracting. You just want to get on with the next step. Bash in singleness! When married, there is another person to always consider. You can’t take off unless it works for the other as well. Redeem the time that you have; enjoy now and listen to Jesus. Your time truly is an issue of stewardship.
7. Dating creates an artificial environment for evaluating another person’s character
Being cute/fun on a date says nothing about being a good husband/wife.
‘Nuff said. Prov. 31:30
A better approach to… whatever you want to call it (6 things)
(deliberate dating with a purpose {D wap})
If you love someone more than anything… you will be selfish, bitter and disillusioned.
If you love Jesus more than anything, you’ll enjoy others and will be someone worth marrying.
The triangle concept; the closer you get to God, the closer you get to each other. You can’t pursue a human, as a believer as a separate thing. It’s a pursuit of God and where He takes you become obvious
2. Make every relationship an opportunity to model Jesus Christ’s love
Col 3:12-17
Live it out. Jesus love is for everyone; sincere, honest, brotherly love.
The point of any relationship should be to point them to Christ.
3. Recognize that your unmarried years are a gift from God
Gen. 24:1-33 Rebekah wasn’t out on the look for a man. She was going about her business, but obviously serving the Lord.
We need to redeem the time we have, take advantage of it to do things on your heart that you may not have the opportunity to do when married. Many people are actually married longer in their life than they’re single. Don’t rush it!
4. Acknowledge that intimacy is the reward of commitment.
It doesn’t need to be a part of a relationship before commitment. If you aren’t ready to marry someone, why do you want to put yourself in a place of so possible compromise!? Sexual intimacy awakes desire in you that isn’t created to be restrained. God did not design us to go there even in measure before we are married. It clouds your mind so much! God set up great things for marriage intimacy; it’s not at all about struggling through merely coping (see Song of Solomon). Full intimacy we won’t experience until heaven… but marriage is a picture of it. It’s totally a lie to think you need to have some sort of intimate experience before you get married. “You’ll never regret purity”
5. Stop “playing marriage”
True commitment to somebody really comes when you say vows, get married. In a dating relationship, if you aren’t ready to commit to marriage you cannot stake claims to the other. Don’t expect things from them that have not yet come. Making those demands of each other before the time only breeds grounds for jealousy and greed.
6. Practically avoid situations that could compromise the purity of your mind and body.
Purity is so much more than remaining a virgin. It’s wise to set standards, but
your heart purity is truly the issue. Don’t be a legalist over it, that won’t grow you spiritually before the Lord.
Matt. 6:33- It’s not about seeking the out the things we want but seeking God and recognizing what He brings.
Content in the Lord, unless He brings marriage.
1. Seek God’s Word: does this person match up with what Biblical standards you are seeking?
2. Award of responsibilities – are you ready for marriage? (don’t date for recreation)
3. Approval/support of parents, pastors and godly friends. (they may have a clearer view)
4. Obey God above all. Do you have peace? The peace of God will rule (umpire) your heart.
God will not force the next step DTR (defining the relationship). You can’t be afraid of the future when God is moving your forward, you have to address it, and you need clear purpose.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Good and happy October, sweet, dear and lovely friends! It’s time to figure out a blog update. Recent studies have been John and Genesis. Needless to say we have to fly through each book in only a week. They were a delightful study. Truly, both of them! Tom Morris, associate pastor at Calvary Chapel here in Yakima taught through the book of John last week, and Jeff’s (the uh, campus father) brother Ken Sutton went through Genesis all this week. A word of encouragement to anyone that has not previously loved the OT, it is totally beyond comprehension how many parallels there are simply in Genesis to the NT. To the Messiah. The Gospel story. It is entirely intimately one with the life of Jesus the Christ.
To share a driving point that hit me this week was the fact Jesus was not lacking in confidence. Shocking, right? Well, he not only created the entire world including mankind, but He then delegated to his creation a job; helping Him in this work. He asked Adam to be in charge of naming the animals. Quite possibly this was the first communication between Adam and God, and God was asking him to be involved in this great work! God was not incapable, but he was not afraid to partner with Adam, His own creation, in His work. How dare we be stingy with what God has entrusted to us, or so pious to think that we are the only one capable to accomplish His work. We are called to partner together in the work of Elohim, the trinity!
Another sweet thing to think about (also from the first day of Genesis study) is that God demonstrated a day of rest for us at the time of creation, as we all know. However, God rested because His work was done. Then in the NT Jesus, after stating that His work here was finished, also entered into His rest. He sat down at the right had of the father. As believers, we are at rest in Jesus Christ; I am at rest in my following of him. I won’t have rest if I don’t abide in Him though. It’s not that God don’t desire for us a day of rest during the week, He does, but our work here is not done until the day of Jesus Christ. We never take a rest from the Lord; He is our rest, Heb. 4. We know God now, but have no idea what our role could be in future generations; what God has in store.
Staring into another weekend! Tonight a group of us are planning to accompany the youth mission and its charges to a local corn maze. Sure to be aMAZing.
The rest of the weekend lies open! A few are going home to Seattle, and Emily F. is gone for the weekend… the rest of us are just chilling here in the compound. Oh, and perhaps watching the 6 hour version of classical, “Pride and Prejudice”. Hope I can catch up with some folks via telephone! Peace you all.
To share a driving point that hit me this week was the fact Jesus was not lacking in confidence. Shocking, right? Well, he not only created the entire world including mankind, but He then delegated to his creation a job; helping Him in this work. He asked Adam to be in charge of naming the animals. Quite possibly this was the first communication between Adam and God, and God was asking him to be involved in this great work! God was not incapable, but he was not afraid to partner with Adam, His own creation, in His work. How dare we be stingy with what God has entrusted to us, or so pious to think that we are the only one capable to accomplish His work. We are called to partner together in the work of Elohim, the trinity!
Another sweet thing to think about (also from the first day of Genesis study) is that God demonstrated a day of rest for us at the time of creation, as we all know. However, God rested because His work was done. Then in the NT Jesus, after stating that His work here was finished, also entered into His rest. He sat down at the right had of the father. As believers, we are at rest in Jesus Christ; I am at rest in my following of him. I won’t have rest if I don’t abide in Him though. It’s not that God don’t desire for us a day of rest during the week, He does, but our work here is not done until the day of Jesus Christ. We never take a rest from the Lord; He is our rest, Heb. 4. We know God now, but have no idea what our role could be in future generations; what God has in store.
Staring into another weekend! Tonight a group of us are planning to accompany the youth mission and its charges to a local corn maze. Sure to be aMAZing.
The rest of the weekend lies open! A few are going home to Seattle, and Emily F. is gone for the weekend… the rest of us are just chilling here in the compound. Oh, and perhaps watching the 6 hour version of classical, “Pride and Prejudice”. Hope I can catch up with some folks via telephone! Peace you all.
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