A week on the Oregon coast. What an amazing time! It was an intense time, as we focused in first on worship, primarily on who it is that we worship. Then moving on to sharing the Lord with other's, outreach and evangelism, and taking time to recognize what the Lord has done in for us in our personal walk with him. We all shared our testimony the last day we were there, it was the most spiritually bonding time I could imagine. Baring our souls to each other and allowing, recognizing the Lord's healing and forgiveness, and seeing the power the Lord has over His children's lives is incredibly miraculous. Hallelujah! I've always thought I didn't really have a story, but that was only because I was so blind to my sin and need for repentence. My need for God's grace is becoming more and more evident all the time. I have so much pride and greed in my heart... it's a good thing His grace is abundant. Acts 3:19, 20a "Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord..." I would like to share my personal story of God's mercy with you now, praying it will bless you.

It is nothing less than a blessing to live in a family that knows and loves God; whose faith has been part of their parents lives as well. Since my life began, I have been taught about Jesus as Savior and living the life He wants me to.
My childhood was carefree and easy. Living on a farm provided a lot of fun experiences with both my dad and mom, who really lived out Jesus’ love in their lives. Being the youngest of four, two sisters and a brother, I’ve always had built-in mentors and friends to learn about life from. As far back as I can remember, I was fearful of going to hell. I didn’t grasp exactly what the Gospel was all about, but prayed often that Jesus would save me. I had a pretty good grasp on what it meant to be good, but has little concept of grace. Life remained stable and easy through elementary and middle school, I went to a private Christian school so I was still surrounded by believers. Not to make it sound perfect, I messed up a lot while learning what life was about and age eleven through fourteen was still really awkward and embarrassing, but for the most part, life was smooth sailing.
Through high school I had a lot of friends and we kept ourselves well entertained, living from one great time to another. Though I was well accepted with my peers, I battled a lot with feeling self-conscience; always comparing myself with my friends and coming up short. God really provided older people in my life, to guide me through my emotional woes and share their own experiences they had come through. Some wisdom I was thankful for, some I wasn’t, but I now recognize God’s mercy and faithfulness to lead me towards Himself. The different people I hung out with never got involved with parties and things that were considered bad, but we lived a rather self-serving lifestyle of fun and busyness.
Through all the good times, the Lord was showing me there was much more to being a Christian than attempting to life a good life. I always felt like I was waiting on something to change, waiting for real life to begin. A group of us started meeting every other week to study the Word and share what we were learning. God instilled a desire within me that wanted everyone to know that I truly wanted to live for Jesus and wanted to personally sell out to Him, so I was baptized shortly after I turned seventeen. That spring was a spiritual high for me, but my definition of Christianity was still mostly centered around my performance. The last two years of high school I switched from the Christian school I had been in, to a vocational school. My life quickly became a lot less sheltered than it was previously, but I wasn’t very open about the gospel. My classmates knew that I was a “good girl”, but beyond that they really didn’t hear the good news from my lips.
After graduation in the spring of 2005, my time was pretty much overtaken by a specific male figure. He was a believer and I was more the certain he would be the one for me. We had several differences in our view of Jesus and the Bible, but tried to ignore them most of the time. A year later, when it was obvious that the differences were mot to be pushed aside, the relationship dramatically ended leaving me devastated and for the first time really realizing my need for Jesus Christ. Before, He’d been more of a sidekick, and I’d had everything I needed throughout life with no real issues. Now I was wondering how to get through this crisis and what I was to do next. My questions were directed towards God, wondering why this after I thought all my life I’d tried to dedicate myself, my friends, my lifestyle to Him. I was sincerely broken. Falling on Him was not an option, but mandatory. That coming year was full of prayer, questions, studying, confessions, repentance, sorrow and joy. It was time to discover exactly who the Lord I’d always known of was, and the direction He was taking me. He had always known me so personally, but my experience of Him had been so shallow.
That summer I volunteered at a Christian retreat for families that had a child with a disability. The unity and love extended there was so impacting. Seeing the body of Christ come together and build each other up so dramatically was life changing. The theme verse for the week was Jeremiah 29:12-14a “You will seek me and find me, when you search for me with all of your heart. I will be found by you declares the Lord…” the promise in those verses hit me in the center of my heart. For the first time I knew that what God wanted most was simply for me to search desperately for Him alone and that if I did, He would be found by me in personal way.
In March 2007, I left the country for the first time. To Ghana Africa I went with fourteen people I did not know. Spending over two weeks in a nation that had so much less in material possessions, yet so much more faith was humbling. My “good” life, reduced to nothing. It was a sickening reality to re-enter America, realizing the greed in my heart and lack of focus on eternal things. From there God placed me in a small group of people within the church dedicated to searching for and following Him in community ministry. He also paved the way for me to take 4 months to do nothing but seek Him and learn to know Him at a discipleship school. I can only imagine where the journey goes from here!
The control of my life really transferred from me to God the spring of 2006. It took the harsh reality that nothing and no one but Jesus could be my sustainer or confidence. Continually He convicts me of sin, bringing me back to Him; back to where He can use me. He has proved Himself through His word, through His Spirit, my comforter and healer, and through so many other people on the same road as I. No matter what may come in life, or how complacent I become, He is always in me; guiding me towards the Truth even when I do not know it. I have confidence that He will be faithful, and that joy is found only in His presence.